My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
