Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
