I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
