Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
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