Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
