I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
