i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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