New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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