I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
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so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
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Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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