Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
