I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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