great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I think people are normalizing furries
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
