I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
