just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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