even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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