I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
