just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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