That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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