Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
