What did we do last night that was yellow?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
