Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize