question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He's on the porch naked. Help.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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