I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
