I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
