I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
