is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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