Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
