Are we in a gay sports bar?
I can text with my tongue
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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