I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
