fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
