Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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