And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
