Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
