this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Princesses don't give blow jobs
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
