when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize