I don't usually arrange sex via text message
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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