woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
the raccoons are back...
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