I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
