ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
