i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
40s are totally the cure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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