Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
