My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
