Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
