loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
