This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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