I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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