i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
