I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Randomize
