Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
