Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
