ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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