Is it normal to miss your booty call?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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