she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
