i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
