I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
There's even glitter on my cock...
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