I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize