There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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