This girl is more easily done than said...
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
The Olympian is in my bed
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
