Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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