I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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