He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
