I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?