Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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