he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
