i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
