HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
