Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize