Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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