She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
