hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
